You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
