addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize