Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
