A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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