just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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