do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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