Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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