I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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