i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
