We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
