Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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