Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
