He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
