Apparently you make a good broom.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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