dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
