I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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