i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
