I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
