god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize