is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
