do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
