i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
