I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
