Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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