The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
