Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
