i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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