Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
