He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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