I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
