I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
