Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
