there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize