How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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