Plan B is the new Plan A
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
