I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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