i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
