Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
