I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
