No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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