i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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