no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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