Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize