it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
