Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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