be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
