it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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