billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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