I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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