I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
