no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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