We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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