Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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