So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
