What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
