Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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