Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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