i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
being pregnant is like rehab
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
