but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize