Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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