Please, let me fuck your mom
He kissed a someone with a penis
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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