Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
