Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize