): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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