Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
